Chapter – 2
- The Role of modeling in personality building
Mother, Father, Teacher – Role Models
The initial personality building takes place through imitation. 90 percent of our personality is nothing but imitation. Language, culture, mannerisms, body language and behavior etc. are all the result of imitation. We imitate those whom we like. We want to own their behavioral patterns. In that process our own personality develops. Children imitate their mother, father, other elders, co-children and friends.
Imitation is the initial personality of a Kid
Children imitate elders, teachers and co-children. Followers, fellow comrades and people imitate their leaders. Human beings as a whole imitate the exemplary people. That is why you have to be like a person whom your children and your cadres want to imitate.
In personality blossom the role of imitation will be like this – 1. Imitating ideas. 2. Imitating ideals. 3. Imitating habits. 4. Imitating behavior. 5. Imitating culture. 6. Imitating language. 7. Imitating fashions. 8. Imitating caste, religion and class. 9. Imitating professional skills. 10. Imitating creativity, skills, art and literature. Each individual will develop his own style through imitation. That is why though the role model is the same the personalities of the imitators will be varied. For example a class of pupil listens to the same lesson – all the IAS cadres undergoes the same training - but still pupils of a class and IAS officers will develop different personalities.
Your mother, father and teacher will mould your personalities through out their life from childhood. Even if they are physically no more their influence on you continues. Society influences your personality through difference people, incidents, concepts or ideas and culture.
Mother as the first Role Model
If we see from many angles a great personality and great leadership quality are synonymous. Mother is the first personality builder for the human society. The role of mother is immense in molding the childhood of an individual. She is our first teacher. She carries on her responsibilities towards a baby which couldn’t speak by sensing the necessities of that baby. Along with feeding the baby she teaches it language also. That is why we called the language as mother tongue. She teaches the initial words like grandpa, father, mother, uncle etc. She also teaches how to pronounce different words. She teaches mannerisms also. In simple children learn first and foremost from their mothers.
Parents who became leaders by bringing up children
The personality of the youth blossoms through becoming parents. In due course of bringing up children mother learns the leadership qualities herself. Father also learns the same qualities. All the parents learn the leadership qualities as a part of the experience of life. So do others. Everybody in this world learns leadership qualities in the process of making others learn. That is one learns leadership qualities during the course of teaching others leadership and responsibility.
Personality Development and Leadership qualities in the Mother
Mother is the first leader in the world. Her personality and leadership qualities are the example for the rest of the society. So those who lead the society or an institution become great leaders by thinking like a mother. Such a leadership could be considered great. There will be an amount of authority in the thinking process and leadership of the father. In the leadership role of the women - love, affection and a sort of unconditional and boundless love always continue. The mother who considers the welfare her children as her ultimate objective is the best role model for the great leadership or great personality.
The personality, language, expression of the ideas and self confidence take form depending upon the mother’s level of understanding. The mother builds up a personality along with bestowing love and sympathy. She also teaches the ways of expression of ideas. The blossoming of the children is directly proportional to the level of the education, self confidence, culture and consciousness of the mother. If the mother is destitute because of poverty even the children tend to develop so. The insults and hardship of a mother because of poverty or because of belonging to a poor caste reflects on the children very strongly.
The following are the first personality of a child.
Mother and father can be considered as the first personality builders of a child. In the joint family many other people play the role – like grand ma, grand pa, uncles, sisters and brothers and neighbors.
The role of the mother is limitless. However great the child may become in the future the role of the mother is still great. Even the ruler of
There is a saying that even a mother won’t fulfill a need without being asked about. If a child starts crying the mother comes to it running and feeds it. If the child still keeps crying she would try to find out if there are any ants in the cradle. Children become angry with their mother. They do temper tantrums. But still mother tries to cajole them and feed them. She points at the moon to console them. She plays with them and makes them play. She re-experiences her lost childhood in bringing up the children. In the course of rearing children mother grows in her personality from being a woman to wife and daughter to mother. So also teachers, leaders and higher officials develop better personalities by encouraging development in the personalities of their followers and also by leading them.
The goal, the objective, mother, father, teacher and leadership should keep continuous growing. Only then a society will progress.
Even the developmental process of the parents, grand parents, leaders and the teachers some times comes to a grinding halt. But the society keeps on moving forward. In a society that is moving forward we also have to move forward. Some people say there is no need of teachers. But the people like the tribal remain backward if it is not for a teacher or an elderly person. As a mother carries the baby in her womb and lets it grow so also there is need of the people who have grown up, who have power and who have knowledge for others.
A social worker takes up a manual rickshaw after getting down from the bus. There at the bus-stand even the children use to look forward for the customers who ply the rickshaw. That social worker use to think that he could give an extra rupee for a person like him who weighs less. Like that a bond of love developed. The child of that social worker use to argue with his mother that his father got no culture as he is plying in the rickshaw pulled by a child. It means the child is trying to empathies with the other child who is labouring believing that he is also a human being.
The age of a boy who engaged by an engineer for household work is the same as that of his daughter’s. The ordeals of that servant boy were innumerable. The daughter of that engineer was moved by those troubles of that child servant. She used to say that her father says all the people are the “children of the god”. He also says all are equal before the god. So the daughter of the engineer got a doubt that why can’t the servant boy - Kishtaiah go to school like her? And why can’t the elder brother of Kishtaiah go to school like her brother? Why they remained as just servants? Why the god did not let them study?
If all the people are the children of god, why only she and her brother are going to school? And why Kishtaiah’s mother and younger sister died? If all people are the children of god why Kishtaiah had so many sufferings? Why the god who should be like a mother should allow his children to suffer? If all the people are children of the god why some are suffering? Is there really god? (Tenayteegalu (Bees) – a collection of stories)
Like this the children compare themselves with other children of their age without considerations of caste, religion or region. They closely observe the behavior of their parents towards children of their age. We should allow that sensitivity to grow. We should not inculcate the feelings of superiority or inferiority in children. The brought up of the parents which aggravates inequities in the society is harmful. Equality depends upon your brought up.
1. Family – Caste – Class – as the architects of Personality
The first step in the process of socialization is the family. Next enter – neighbors, followed by cast, native place – entire society. In this process we have seen the role of the family in the chapter of - mother as the first personality builder.
Every human being loves freedom. At the same time s/he wants social life. So a person wants social life along with freedom. S/he expects security from the society. So man is a social animal. He lives alone as well as in the group. But casts, classes, rich-poor differences and gender differences oppress people instead of providing them social security.
The skills that Develop before the School Going Age
Many studies do prove that the rural children develop about a set of 25 skills before they come to school at the age of five. The children of shepherds learn 25 different kinds of skills pertaining to sheep, their house, their village and trees. Like that the children of a textile weaver also learn 25 types of skills like weaving, selling cloth and their village by the age of five. So also the children of the farmers, dalits (about their occupation). They learn the etiquette pertaining to – behavior and communication with different people. Such skills are not well developed in the children who are living in towns and also the children of the middle class. Because of lack of proper contact with the nature and neighbors the urban middle class children tend to be backward in many skills.
Experience accrues along with labor process. The knowledge improves through experience. Culture develops as the continuation of the labor process. So the dalits could become better leaders and intellectuals in the society with a lot of ease. But because of the domination of some castes in the society, things are happening differently.
Those who toil grow in life – The luxurious couldn’t build history.
Those who toil grow in life. But this coming up requires smart work. Though it is true that hard work allows a person to grow in life – growing up in life also requires the capacity for smelling opportunities. They build history. There is a saying that people around us will be congenial to us if we could talk properly.
What do the folk stories tell – they tell us only those who work hard will come up. The stories of those people who have come up through hard work are passed on from generation to generation. In the story of Sindhbad the troubles faced and the adventures carried on by the sailor were highlighted. So also the epics like Ramayana and Maha Bharatha. They are full of examples of the troubles faced by the heroes in them. We listen about them as stories from generation to generation. These stories end with the victory of the good and hard working. Stories tell us about the human relations, activities and the adventures.
Those who are stinking under luxuries could not build history. Those who live a comfortable life with no adversity could never build history. Those who traverse through troubles are the real builders of history. The troubles in life are in fact the opportunities for personality development and winning over in life.
Same kind of schools and culture for all
As long as inequities in terms of caste, religion, class and gender continue in the families the reflection of them in the society will be certain that is why many experiments were carried in a number of countries. For example there were private schools in
Since 1920s the same schooling facilities and medical facilities were provided to all at free of cost in Soviet Russia. In the same way community kitchens were established in order to overcome individualistic thinking and encourage socially oriented personality development. All the people use to eat in the canteens together. In this way all the members of the society grew up as equals in all respects. Because of that personal blossoming and love towards humanity increased in the people to an unprecedented level in history. In revolutionary
The goal will be decided upon by the available opportunities and the people around in an environment. If we are amongst the great people we could have a great goal. When we read great books also we could develop greater goals. So also friendships lead to either good or bad outcomes. Every thing is ultimately determined by the company we keep. Even the individual decisions are socially determined.
In a society with inequalities personal blossoming also will proceed on the same lines. When achieve social equality in all the fields of human endeavor the personal blossoming will proceed equitably though with all the diversity that is there in the human beings. The diversity will emerge out only when there are opportunities. Otherwise when a society is divided for centuries on lines of caste, occupations based on castes, the diversities will die away.
As we see an environment since our birth, it looks natural for us. Social inequities, language, culture, human relations, caste, class and religion look as natural like the natural environment. In this way a social system inculcates in the people a mentality of statuesque in the areas of ideas and behavior. The concepts like my village, my language, my caste, my religion and my culture developed like this only.
But still there is hope at the end of the tunnel. Though the concepts of language, caste, village, culture, class became second nature it is still possible to change that attitude. This requires continuous practice which depends upon creating new conditions, environment etc.
The youth who are questioning what is caste? Why some castes are great? Why some other castes are inferior? Are increasing by legions, which is a hope for the future of a glorious